G.R.i.D. (Get Rich in Dallas)

This past week’s issue of the Dallas Voice was journalistic gold for me. And mostly because of this article where Crews Inn owner, David Moore has banned drag queens from his club on Trashy Tuesdays. Now, David Moore is clearly an idiot. As owner, he may have the right to discriminate against people that don’t satisfy his standards. It’s all so White Drinking Fountain Colored Drinking Fountain. But if people are stirring up trouble in his club, then kick them out. Don’t ban people. If I was in a drunken stupor at Crews Inn then I’d totally be ruining it for all future Hispanics wanting to hit the club. He argues that if people don’t match their ID, then he has a right to refuse service, however, they do seem to turn a blind eye to fake IDs and all the young chicken that makes it in. Heck, way back when, CI was one of the places I could waltz in without being carded.

Anyways, read the piece. Briscoe did a great job and has given me one of my favorite quotes of all time. Not by what it said but more by seeing it in print:

“It’s kind of like I’m a positive role model in the community,” (Ivana) Tramp said.

Oh gosh, that still makes me laugh. Sweetie, I’m sure you are but you might want to rethink quoting your righteousness outside of your drag persona.

It seems like the Query of the Week is getting funnier each time. Lately at least one person’s answer is basically “huh??” And I don’t know what makes me chuckle more, their ignorance (which happens, I get that) or the fact that it’s being printed in lieu of maybe someone else giving a viable answer. If I see Ben Briscoe heading my way with a notepad, I’m jumping on my laptop with Google Search handy for whatever he’s going to ask about. My fave responses to this week query of How important is it for out-of-state couples may be able to marry in Massachusetts were:

I didn’t know anything about that. So not important.”

Matt Fieldsman

Banker

“You mean we couldn’t get married there before? I always thought we could. Big, I guess.”

Gary Martin

Bartender

Interestingly enough, the site doesn’t print the question, just the answers. But if it ever gets as funny as these, then I’ll actually buy a subscription to the paper.

Moving on. So, I’m fairly impressed with the Voice’s music coverage. It’s not as extensive as I think it could be but the fact that they go beyond the Oak Lawn scene (ahem, is there one?) and even the obvious (Yaz, George Michael) is a nice comfort. I mean, honestly, a few years ago I’d have been stunned to see the Moaners being mentioned in the Voice. Their show at Lola’s was blurbed this week.

However, I was a little surprised to see George Michael’s review in the print edition a week after the show. I mean, isnt’ that what blogs are for? It just seemed a little pandering as if the gays needed that story and big pic in print. Sure, it was the biggest gay concert of the year next to True Colors but a review a week later just seemed, well, weak. But maybe I’m being a bit biased because my review came out the next day. Yay, me!

Oh and despite it being after the fact, I had to chuckle at the headline - Yaz Tues at Granada and mentioned the venue again in the blurb only to have the actual info under reveal its true show last night was at the Lakewood. However, I was at the Granada last night for this kick-ass event. Mistakes happen but and when you’re in the biz and get to see them, they always cause a smirk.

OK, so I’m done picking on the Voice this week. It was a good issue but it gave me some uninentional smirks. And I can’t wait to read about the Crews Inn fallout. Oh and by the way, I plan never to go there again. I can’t support someone with attitudes like that. I hope you’ll consider the same.

You probably have just a couple more days to catch this month’s issue of Envy but I urge you to grab it if you can. Then, turn to page 14 and see why Davon Ramos should not be a writer. With quite possibly the dumbest intro of all time to his parade of techy video toys for their E-Tech column, this only proves Envy thinks more about being hip than having quality. And that Ramos should stick to his film work. I’d link to it on here but their website is a lukewarm mess that doesn’t get me anywhere.

Now, why did I pick it up in the first place? Oh, they have some stuff that makes me curious. They’ll cover a local band for flavor (this month is Deaf Pedestrians) and then I used them to check some club events that we weren’t necessarily focusing on at my paper and I must embarrassingly admit that I wrote a few columns for them way back when. So, I would pick it up wondering if I should ever consider writing a friggin’ 800 word column for $25. The answer is a quick no. And why? Oh, because, if you flip through the rest, Envy basically sucks a$$.

My favorite local comedian, now that Andrea is gone, has just filled me with jealousy as he just made the following announcement:

Ugh. Here I go and take classes for broadcasting and do all this prep and whatever just to be looked over! Damn you all! You will scream in pain as my wrath takes over!!

OK, now that that’s passed…just had to let that out before my pent up energy resulted in drowning my sorrows in a fattening milkshake. I love JF. Hella hilarious and P & K will be all the better for it.

Still….dammit.

I’m an official headline…sigh…but a little sad about it. I’m sure you’ll get the idea right away.

Rich Lopez Gracefully Bows Out From The Observer Offices

It’s been fun and a pleasure but now that I’ll have a little more time, I imagine G.R.i.D. will get back into the groove again. Just needed to wait for the changes.

Argh. The initial purpose of my watch for Mr. Garcia in the Voice was to count the times they use his headshot over and over and over. Dagnabbit if those peeps over there are getting him in by actually using different pics of the guy. A total double-edged sword because I was hoping they would venture away from the same pic but now that they have, could the Official Jesse Garcia Watch be in danger of becoming irrelevant?

Nahhhh.

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I so have to thank Robert for this posting on Unfair Park but I’m totally stealing the video to put here. This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen and now if only I could see the rest of it. I’m a purveyor of fine bad movies and Naughty Dallas looks almost to be the cream of the Dallas crop. Besides, where is this Strip University? I wouldn’t mind finishing off my schooling there.

ISSUE 040408 - Spotted once. Garcia in group photo on page 9.

Whoowee. This week’s issue of the Dallas Voice almost had me. While flipping through the pages searching for a picture of my favorite local gay democrat, JG, I ddin’t see his face anywhere. Could they have read this and decided to mock my harmless nitpicking? Was there actually a story during election year not regarding him or the Stonewall Democrats? Pish posh.

So upon second look, I found my guy albeit this one might be nitpicking too much. It’s his usual headshot but with two others side by side so it takes away from the focus. Buuut, nonetheless, Mr. Garcia’s pic is once again in the paper. However, the article it accompanies by Tammye Nash regarding LGBT Dems and Reps successes with anti-discrimination is on the better side of awesome.

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ISSUE 031408 - Once. Garcia’s photo spotted in a tryitych on page 11.

This week was the last straw. I’ve been debating this forever and today I just couldn’t go further without the official watch for Mr. Jesse Garcia, president of the Stonewall Democrats. What am I watching for? His picture in the Dallas Voice. It is practically in there every single week and with election season going on, it’s almost a given he’ll be somewhere in the paper.

Now don’t get me wrong. I know Jesse and he’s a human dynamo of political passion. He’s also supremely smart and very gracious and funny and nice. There’s really nothing wrong with the guy…that I know of (hi Jesse!). He deserves the publicity for what the work he’s done with the party here in town. And as president of the group, he is definitely a figurehead in the community and the only one of that group that apparently has a headshot.

It worries me, though, to see him week after week. Overexposure? Totally. Lack of interest in anyone else in the group? I’m guessing. So I can’t quite pinpoint if it’s a Jesse thing or a Voice thing but one thing I know for sure is I would almost bet my entire DVD collection that he’ll be in next week’s issue. Um…almost.

In fact, I think last week he was not in the issue or it was recently and I about bowled over.

And I even love me some Voice. It’s a great paper and serves its community practically too well but I just can’t figure the almost obsession with Garcia. Now, if it’s just that he’s actually the most attractive of the bunch, well then yeah, because, God don’t like ugly. (snark)

So, this week, I will merely find it necessary to tell you if he’s made the issue and how many times. They can quote him all they want but maybe spreading the spotlight would be a good idea at times.

(Oooh, he’s gonna hate me.)

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I have such mixed feelings about the possible smoking ban in Dallas clubs. The hullabaloo over the fact that City Council would support a ban strikes many chords on many levels. Personally, I can’t say I would mind if smoking was banned in bars and clubs. But I have lots of friends who opt for filling their lungs with black tar and pollutants who I also have good times with. Talk about a conundrum. I want them to have good times too. And for me, it’s not a health issue, OK, it kind of is, but it’s more sartorial in nature. Seriously, I just hate when my Banana Republic sweater and Gap jeans are all smoky at the end of the day. And I will suffer the cold temperatures just to make sure my jackets don’t get the secondhand odor either. If only Febreze was as good as it claims to be. It’s not, Nimbus.

Michael Hogue weighs in on the issue over at DMN. He makes some good points buuuut, I don’t know what he’s wearing either.