G.R.i.D. (Get Rich in Dallas)

Maybe it’s just me but as my thirty-something becomes late thirties, I tend to feel less risky about things. Maturity? Dunno. But at the same time, I spent a lot of my younger years not doing too much that was all that exciting. A desire to please kept me fairly conservative. I still have some of that but I do have my uninhibited moments every so often. And as my late thirties officially begin this year (36 come August), my hair is leaving me as fast as my youth. As the top of my scalp is seeing more sun lately, I think I may still have time and follicular fortitude to consider a mohawk.

But now the question is…what kind? You tell me.

The safest route would be the fauxhawk. This is where I still have a decent amount of hair on the head and I can fashion a hawk out of what remains a la Richard, the should-be winner of this past season Top Chef. I like this do. It’s safe and versatile but I have a problem with it too. It’s a little non-committal. And maybe even too safe and perhaps a bit too trendy. I see it everywhere and it seems to not make the statement that an actual mohawk does, whatever that may be. I feel like it says “I kind of have balls but my parents won’t notice when it’s flat”. (below)

I know for sure I don’t want the landing strip aka buzzhawk. (below)

Dallas City Hall will host a viewing party for the show, which will air Monday at 3 p.m. on CBS 11. It is followed by CBS 11 News at 4 p.m.

Of what you might ask? Oh, Mayor Pro Tem and fascinating freak Dwayne Carraway is going to be on Dr. Phil today with Reverend Al Sharpton and the Hip-Hop Government. Why? His saggy pant crusade is on the up and up. I hope Dr. Phil included the Why Guy in his research.

Sounds like fun.

I found these on Chemo Chicks, a site dedicated to women survivors of cancer and who are totally fierce about it. These brow guides of course help those who’ve lost their hair to chemotherapy but Ms. Ceballos SO needs a pair. In fact, there is even a whole page about brows on the site that can be beneficial to everyone. Everyone.

I think we should thank Ceballos for bringing to the forefront the tragedy of Sharpie brows. Remember, pens and markers are for writing. Although, not fake letters to win contests.

…maybe but I’m sure there have been others. The Paul Frank Store over at West Village is looking for ninjas. Actually, I think Paul Frank in general but whatever. So for those of you closeted ninjas that also have the black pajama and mask attire in said closets, get yer vid cam out and make a video in which you will look astoundingly idiotic all for the gain of a bike and a hoodie. Because if people can pay attention to this guy*, then who knows what fame will have in store for you.

*not Jimmy Kimmel of course. Love him.