After work last night at the bookstore, some peeps were heading over to a place up the street for some ping-pong and drinks. Now, you have me at either air hockey or ping-pong and drinks are always a nice cherry on top so I opted to join. I was forewarned that this was no Ghostbar or UltraLounge but I’ve seen
worse. Besides, there are still nooks and crannies of this town I’ve yet to venture into, so I just figured why not.
No amount of warning could have prepared me for Sharky’s or its more formal name, Sharky’s Dart Pub & Juggling Emporium. I’d like to see Lesley Tellez up in this place. If you head up north on Greenville Avenue to Pineland where Al-Amir and Roma’s are, you’ll find quite possibly the most depressing shopping strip in Dallas. Turning into a steep entrance to a gritty graveled parking lot, Sharky’s is next to Ace in the Hole tattoos and is about as nondescript as manila paper.
Walking in, the bar was immediately to my left with several dart boards looking pretty lonely on the right wall. Beyond the bar were several pool tables, a jukebox and Lord knows what else. The bar itself is small and was somewhat crowded with Sharky regulars. They were way too comfortable to not be daily visitors. No music was playing and that depressing sound of glasses clanking in a quiet bar with a hint of conversation was way too loud in this place. This isn’t one of those so bad so skeezy so hole in the wall that it’s cool, this is a place where barflies go to die. And I was right there with them. Thankfully with my more enthusiastic coworkers. I was still feeling the place out.
My brave coworkers opened tabs but my rule is to never open a tab in a place that fills me with identity theft paranoia. For once, I paid cash for my Blue Moons and suffice it to say, they were the best BM’s I’ve ever had. Cold with an ample squeeze of lemon gave my Stella a good run for her money.
The ping-pong table was upstairs. I followed the gang only to be appalled and practically vomited in my mouth. If you think the strip was depressing, try tobacco tinted patchworked white walls, flourescent lighting and the only carpet in the world where you wouldn’t even want your dog walking on all surrounding the blessed ping-pong table. If the UltraLounge had an official arch enemy, it would be this.
Now, having said all that, I had a surprisingly good time. Clearly, it was the company I was with and the action of pinging and ponging that made it bearable. Plus, a snazzy Internet jukebox helped liven up the place with some much needed tunes. And lest we forget that oh-so delicious Blue Moons with lemon twist. Delicious! Additionally, the bartender was one of the nicest in town. But I guess I wasn’t competing with a lot of people needing his attention so he had time to be good at his customer service. Creepy Miriam who seemed to have a permanent seat at the bar introduced herself to coworker Kissryn and me with a bony hand to shake that I thought was going to fall apart when I took it. Cringe. The ping pong lounge if you will was well air-conditioned as well which I needed after actually working up a sweat with some major paddle action. However, coming off some major allergies, the vents weren’t there to clear the secondhand smoke emanating from all my coworkers and the hacking was starting.
I can’t recommend the place because it is pretty gross but in its favor, it is a genuine drinking hole. Or perhaps, drinking black hole. I had a good time and I wasn’t balking at my $3.75 beers but I’m only going back when the gang is going and I’m up for some pong. Otherwise, I’m staying away but giving Sharky’s today’s Random Award of
Scuzziest Bar in Dallas!
W00T W00T!!!
Ooops, almost forgot the lone mylar birthday balloon that Kissryn pointed out. Note to friends - if you even THINK of having my or any other birthday celebration of which I am in proximity of, you will see a most perturbed version of myself.
