My Interview with Dave White (part II)
Rich Lopez : How did meet Alonso?
Dave White PM: This is a pre-Internet story….Here goes: A female friend dared me to place a personal ad in the Dallas Voice. I resisted and told her it was for losers. But she said, “You have nothing to lose.” So I placed one that gave zero physical attributes and zero sexual desires. It was just a list of cultural stuff I liked. I figured that at the very least whoever responded to it would say, “Oh, a guy who likes Jawbox. We can go to shows together.” About nine guys replied. All of them wanting to know how big my dick was. And one of them said, “Hey, you sound interesting, we should talk.” So that was him… And we met. And there was no connection besides friendly conversation having. But we decided to go see movies together. So we did that. No dating. Nothing. Strictly platonic. He wasn’t into me, to be honest. I was not his type. I was this guy who looked like the plumber who comes to fix the toilet. He was into little blond twinks at the time. But then about 10 months in, one night he kissed me. And that’s how that happened. That was almost 13 years ago.
Rich Lopez : congratulations on the 13 years
Dave White : thanks! He’s the luckiest man on Earth.
Rich Lopez : lol…Alonso was in the same gay youth group I was in YEARS ago at the DGA or whatever. it was called GLYA. We never knew each other beyond a hello but whatever
Dave White : oh you knew him? Oh wow.
Rich Lopez : he was always nice but we never knew each other. Q - I’m trying to imagine you as a middle school teacher. Where was this and for how long?
Dave White : ft worth 8 years…I loved that job. I was good with middle school kids, too. I think I scared them into behaving. I have a voice that projects.
Rich Lopez : probably works best on rebellious teens. Q - so how do you describe your book?
Dave White : As a pack of lies.
Rich Lopez : and that concludes the interview….lol
Dave White : hmmm… how do i describe the book…I usually say, “This book is light reading for your bathroom.” Because it sure ain’t heavy or meaningful. What always shocks me, though is how people respond to it. I figured some gays would like it. But I get emails weekly from total strangers who are from all over the place in terms of identity. LOTS of women.
Rich Lopez : really? what do they say?
Dave White : Well I’ve come to learn that women are the biggest readers. And straight women, in general, love gay men. And so they just tell me that I made them laugh. One wanted to buy me a bathrobe. That was weird.
Rich Lopez : straight “normal” women or fag hags?
Dave White : Straight regular women.
Rich Lopez : go figure.
Dave White : Not especially fag-haggish…I know, it’s pretty suprising all the time. I’ve had heterosexual men email me, telling me how much they liked it and how they gave it to their gay male friends. Not one but TWO evangelical Christian ministers emailed me…To tell me how much they dug it. That blew my mind. I interviewed Paul Rudnick for The San Francisco Chronicle in 2006 and in the middle of the interview, he says, “Did you write a book?” And I go, “Yeah, why?” And he goes, “I wondered if this was you. Your book is fantastic.” And I was equally blown away by that. I think of this book as this tiny thing…That like 3000 people have bought so far. I mean, there were not that many reviews. No publicity. But somehow word of mouth has kept it going.
Rich Lopez : That’s too cool. I was wondering if you had done a book tour. RE: the ministers - That’s pretty fascinating. Guess you never know what people are up to. Q - I’m curious about your use of the “F” word. Especially with it being the new “N” word and what not. First, why use it? 2nd, do you get flak for it? 3rd, is there an entitlement to using it much the same way a black guy will say “nigga”
Dave White : I did go on a book tour that I set up myself, but mostly to cities in California. It was short.
Dave White : as for the F word…its use on the cover was sort of my publisher’s idea…anyway, my publisher called me one day and said, “we need a subtitle because no one will know what it’s about if it’s just called ‘Exile in Guyville.’ And so I popped off with, “How a punk rock redneck faggot Texan etc…” It was kind of a goof…But she liked it. So it stuck. I am a big fan of “fag” and “faggot” and “gay” to describe things that are lame. I realize that this is wrong of me. But I also realize that I don’t give a fuck. One of the great things about being an adult is that you get to live how you like. And my friends know that when I say, “Dammit, this faggot stapler won’t work,” that I’m not being a self-loathing queer. I’m just being adorable.
Rich Lopez : did u get any flak for it from readers?
Dave White : not much…I think the title selects and de-selects readers…if you hate the casual use of the word “faggot” then you probably won’t even pick up the book and buy it…But I just want those faggots to know that I love them too. I love all us faggots.
Rich Lopez : (“Faggot”) in the title is a bit different than using it in some of the conversation in the book. I guess that’s more of what I’m getting at. Is, if people commented on using it in the book so much.
Dave White : no they didn’t at all…No one seemed to care. And here’s what even funnier. After all that T.R. Knight bullshit…The Advocate ran a cover line that read “The F Word Is Off Limits!”
Rich Lopez : yeah, I read that
Dave White : And I laughed because I WRITE for The Advocate and I use that word all the time. And they never edit me. I mean they do edit me…But they don’t make me change that word. Ever.
Rich Lopez : Why do you think that is?
Dave White : I think I get away with a lot there. I’ve written for them for about eight years now. And from the start I was the guy writing pro-Eminem CD reviews and whatever. They’re used to me.
Rich Lopez : I’m going off on a tangent but is there a hypocrisy to that you think? Or do they just do not put two and two together?
Dave White : Explain…I don’t get the question actually. Oh, is it hypocrisy on their part do you mean? Or mine?
Rich Lopez : yeah…theirs
Dave White : I don’t think so. To be totally serious here, I think that language is either effective and communicative or it’s not. To be offended by language is to be not-too-bright, frankly. So for me…it’s all about does this writing communicate what it’s supposed to and hopefully the reader is down for it and gets it.
Rich Lopez : Do you think/see “faggot” as equivalent or less to “nigger”?
Dave White : I want readers who get it and who have a sense of humor about it. I do see them as somewhat equivalent in way. I mean, obviously “nigger” carries with it the weight of slavery and history and death.
Dave White : “Faggot” has been around for less time. But for us, obviously, it carries similar negative weight.
Rich Lopez : I’m mostly asking because of curiosity. I can see “f” being offensive but at the same time I don’t know why the pink triangle is a symbol of pride considering it came from the Holocaust. Stuff like that. Anyways, back on track now. Q - How old are you?
Dave White : So for me, being white, I don’t use “The N Word,” unless I’m in the car and I’ve got NWA on and then no one hears me and I think even Dre wouldn’t mind then.” But I’m a faggot. And I can say faggot all day if I like. And my straight friends say it to me and we all go ha ha. But yeah it’s a big mixed up thing. If people don’t like the word faggot then they shouldn’t use it. And they should still buy my book because I use the word in the nicest way possible at all times.
Dave White : I am 43.
In the next installment we talk about the state of Oak Lawn, his home habits and tacos. Stay tuned! By the way, I’m very aware some hyperlinks should be up in this shiz but I’ll get to that after I’m done posting this interview. Yes, I am that lazy.
