2007 Dallastrophes I
Worst Concession Service - Inwood Theatre
Despite a snazzy clean-up and remodel, the new concession stand (all one of them) has by far the worst and slowest service anywhere in town. It is often a line will be found that moves slower than the three-hour Dutch movie you are trying to get into before it starts. I don’t know what it is because I get so frustrated that I leave the line and just go into my movie. I have a thing about missing trailers. But customers ahead of me are grumbling about the service and the older gentleman that yelled at a passing usher was jarring and yet deserved. Heck, we were about to miss Hairspray! So, despite whatever frou-frou treats they have that you might want, skip it and sneak in your own snacks. Inwood may have upgraded everything else but getting a snack is a total drag.
Worst Excuse for a Movie Critic - The Movie Chicks
If I knew all it took to be a member of the D/FW Film Critics Association was to simply watch a lot of movies, I would definitely have had a lengthy tenure by now. Although, if that actually is the case, it doesn’t lend itself to a lot of credibility. And that’s what it sounds like with these ladies. Their site is a completely ego-driven shell of a page where they feel the need to discuss their expertise based on simply going to the movies. And with a “complex” ratings system with grades of “I would rather do laundry than subject myself to this movie again,” it only proves that these aren’t Movie Chicks, they are Dumba$$ Chicks. I wouldn’t have a problem with them if they actually listed some credentials that made them reliable sources. Or ever, possibly qualifiable. And it doesn’t help when they mention they’ve made up their minds on how they want to feel about a movie before going in like Cherryl did with Things We Lost in the Fire. Because, that’s how all critics work. But all they mention is that they like to go to movies and they are more fun than laundry. Yeah. I got a thumbs up for ya ladies…up yer a$$es.
Worst parking lot – The Belmont Hotel
Despite an awesome redux, I wished this trendy Oak Cliff hotspot thought about it’s parking lot for non-guests a bit more. Instead, to get to the bar or partake in a poolside movie, one has to hike up the steep paved hill just to get to the front lobby. The parking lot on Fort Worth avenue is also one of the most ill-conceived with nary a spot for a crowd and continued construction that never reveals anything new. It’s only saving grace is the new side street which tends to offer the best parking spots. Otherwise, either take your active shoes for the hike or expect to huff and puff into your Belmontini.
Worst drive thru service – Brother’s Fried Chicken
I would almost do anything for good fried chicken. That includes waiting in this hell of a drive-thru. Expect to wait up to 30 minutes for your order from these slow-a$$es. When in the car, I tend to time everything by songs. Since placing my order the last time I was there (emphasis on last) at the ghetto sign, three songs had passed and I moved up one car. Considering that the idea of drive-thru is express, Brother’s employees might consider what “fast food” actually means. Yes, the chicken is out of this world amazing and I recommend it to anyone. But it’s not so good that I feel the need to waste that kind of time. Besides, if the employees were at least courteous about it and acknowledge the wait, I’d be more forgiving. But nah. They are too busy being slow.
Worst live music venue – The Door’s Love Lounge (closed)
Ugh. This place has since been razed and thank the heavens. I have to admit, I liked the space the original Door gave. Even it’s Theater stage wasn’t bad but this rathole was definitely the ugly stepchild. The smaller stages were connected to the mainstage by a wall, but you had to leave The Door to walk next door into these two venues. Then, you had to pass through the Lounge to get to the Theater. I’d dare to say that the Lounge was created for the parents to sit and wait while their newly rebelling rocking kids hung out in the other spots. The poor parents and whoever decided to sit in on whatever acoustic artist was playing had to suffer dirty couches and rickety folding chairs amidst a basically drabby beige decor. You could suffer severe depression by simply walking through to the other side and while actually in the Lounge, you almost wish you could die and GO to the other side. They’ve since moved to the old Gypsy Tea Room and what was once The Door is now a flatland waiting for condos to take its place.
Worst band – Mitra
Four words. Bleeding. Of. The. Ears. I’m not sure what it is about Death Metal or whatever but I know it’s not originality. They sound like every other thrash band that’s been around since the late 80s and all others to follow. Unfortunately, we have to suffer our own local sonic abuse with these guys and a slew of others. I’m just picking on them because I listened to their CD. I do like part of the All Gods Kill song though. Well, the parts I understand. I just miss Ratt n Roll. Eat Avery’s Bones came a micro-inch close to being the worst. Heard them at the Monkey Bar sharing the bill with She-Dick. Shrilling ear bleeding noise does not a band make. By the way, can anyone tell me the difference between the two songs on their site?
Worst band name – Energy Williams
I didn’t even know about these guys till a friend of mine told me about ‘em. And now I wish he hadn’t. I like their guitars though.
Of course, I know there’s more out there so we hope you’ll let us know what they are.
